Farewell Talk

I think I knew for a long time that I was going to go on a mission, but it took a long time for me to come to terms with that. I ultimately decided when I was in France on my study abroad in Paris.  I ran into my friend Zach Adams, who is serving his mission in Paris (the lucky kid). We got to talk after a church meeting where all of the speakers talked about missionary work and how much they loved serving. Zach told me that serving a mission was the best decision he has ever made and that I should seriously think about going too. I went home that night feeling unsettled, because I knew I would have to make up my mind about serving a mission soon.

After a series of unfortunate events, the next Sunday morning, my roommate in Paris and I missed our bus to the train station for church. The way the train schedules worked, we would be missing about half of the meeting by the time we got there. We sat on the bus and I stared out the window, just being grumpy. And then I decided to pull out my scriptures and read. And this is what came up on my little iPhone screen:

Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.

And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

John 6:68-69

I know that I'm not Simon Peter. But in that moment, I felt like I should be the one asking the Lord to whom I should go. Because I know for myself that he has the words of eternal life. I know and am sure that he is Christ, the Son of the living God, and that He lives. And in that moment, I knew that all plans I had made for my future not involving a mission didn't matter any more. All that mattered was that I knew that the lord wanted me to share the knowledge that I have of Christ, the son of the living god. I didn’t care if I was going to be “old” by BYU standards when I got back from a mission. I didn’t care that I would still have a few more years of school to finish when I got home. I didn’t care that I would be putting absolutely everything in my life on hold. I sat on that bus, driving past the park near the Eiffel Tower, and cried unashamedly in front of the French, who never show their emotions in public, because I felt so happy and at peace and relieved that I had finally listened to the promptings pushing me in the direction I needed to go.

With that being said, even after knowing that I should go on a mission, I wasn’t quite sure I knew if I wanted to go. I prayed for the desire to go on a mission, and to understand why it was that for 18 months I was willing to give up everything, move to a foreign country, learn Thai, and deal with the biggest bugs known to man.

There is a verse in the Book of Mormon in which the prophet Nephi says, “feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.”(2 Nephi 32:3)

I decided to do that, and do you know what I found, over and over again? Christ’s simple admonition to all mankind.

Come follow me.

Christ had complete control over his words. He knew the impact that this phrase would have, and as someone who loves words and languages, as my mom has already mentioned, it blows my mind that in three words, he was able to change a nation. These three words spread to all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, and have changed the entire world for over 2,000 years. These three words have stood the test of time. While Christ’s words have not changed, they will continue to change the world, and us, if we let them.

By choosing to follow Christ, I have found more hope and happiness than I can even begin to describe. I know that He is my Savior. He is the Savior. He has suffered for each and every one of us. He knows us so personally, and loves us so perfectly, that He gave his life for us. It’s a love that I can’t even begin to understand, even though I have tried.

But it doesn’t matter how I know it, or if I understand all that happened in Gethsemane or on the cross completely. What matters is what I do with that knowledge.

So I want to serve a mission so that others can understand the happiness that I have, and so that they can have it for themselves. So that others can come to know their Savior personally and know that we are never alone. We are as close to the Savior and our Father as we want to be. They are always listening to us and they want to bless us. I am going to serve a mission so that the people I teach in Thailand can understand that we are all Children of our Heavenly Father and that He loves us. Individually, and perfectly.

I know that this gospel is true, and I can't wait to share it with the people of Thailand. I know that Jesus is the Christ, that He is my Savior, and that He lives. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that he restored Christ's church to the earth, and that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet today. I know that God loves each and every one of us, and I am so excited to be able to share my knowledge of this with others, every single day for the next 18 months.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

shocked and amazed

oh hey, blogging world! it's been a little while, hasn't it?

i posted this on my regular blog, but i felt like it would be important to post this on my mission blog, as well. so keep on reading about how i decided to go on a mission!

i guess some pretty major things have happened in my life since i last got on here.

like remember that time i went to paris on study abroad? that was a good time. a really really good time. actually...it was the best time in the whole world. you can read all about it here.

and then i came home for a five week christmas break. that was also the best time. i got to spend it with my family, i got to make some money and work at the bakery, i got to have christmas with my favorite hughes/tenney/roos/cook clan, i got to go to san francisco with my favorite morgans, i got to go to la and celebrate christmas with my favorite hughes/hanson family, and then i got to go back to provo. who cares that i was sick for three weeks? who cares that i hit a bale of hay and dented my car - which will heretofore be referred to as cashmere jones, because that's his name and it's the best car name in the entire world.

but something else pretty major happened, and i kept it mostly to myself, my family, and a few close friends, just because it was something so personal. but now i want to share it with the world, because i am just SO DANG EXCITED.

so for those of you who haven't heard...i am going to be a missionary of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints.

this means that for 18 months, i will leave everything behind to serve in a certain area of the world. i will be sharing the amazing message of the gospel of jesus christ, and testifying that he is our savior and redeemer. i will be teaching that god loves each and every one of us personally. i will be helping to uplift those that i am called to serve, providing them with the opportunity to learn and understand who we are, what our purpose in life is, and where we are going when we die.

i am going to share the happiest and most glorious message on earth, and i couldn't be more excited.

but getting to this point took quite a while for me. i was stubborn. i knew it was something that i would eventually end up doing. i knew that it was something that the lord wanted me to do. i heard him practically yelling at me to do it, but i didn't want to listen. and so i chose not to for the longest time.

but then i went to france. i ran into my friend zach adams, who is serving his mission in paris (the lucky kid). we got to talk at a church meeting where all the speakers shared their testimonies of missionary work and how much they loved serving. zach told me that i "have the head of a missionary" which i decided to take as a compliment, and went home that night feeling unsettled, because i knew i would have to make up my mind about serving a mission soon.

at this point in time, girls were allowed to serve missions when they reached the age of 21. with my 21st birthday coming in may, i didn't have to make an immediate decision, but i knew i should try to decide fairly quickly because you can submit your missionary "papers" or application 4 months before you are available to serve. this meant i could submit my papers in january if i wanted to leave in may. which meant i would have to start my papers as soon as i got home from my study abroad.

after a series of unfortunate events, the next sunday morning, my roommate in paris and i missed our bus to the train station for church. i was so frustrated, we were going to miss our train and have to wait 30 minutes for the next one. by that time, the stake conference we were attending would be half over. we sat on the bus and i stared out the window, just being grumpy. and then i decided to pull out my scriptures and read. and do you know what came up on my little iphone screen? this:

Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.

And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

John 6:68-69

now, i'm not simon peter. but in that moment, i felt like i should be the one asking the lord to whom i should go. because i know that he has the words of eternal life. i know and am sure that he is christ, the son of the the living god. and in that moment, i knew that all plans i had made for my future not involving a mission didn't matter any more. all that mattered was that i knew that the lord wanted me to share the knowledge that i have of christ, the son of the living god. who cared if i was going to be "old" when i got back from my mission? who cared if i still have a few years of school to finish after i get home? who cared that i would be putting absolutely everything in my life on hold? it wasn't me, that's for sure. i sat on that bus, driving past the arc de triomphe, with silent tears running down my face. because i felt so happy and at peace and relieved that i had finally listened to the promptings pushing me in the direction i needed to go.

general conference in october was somewhat epic. you can ask any girl. we all know how life changing it was that the age for missionaries was lowered - to 18 for boys and 19 for girls. that saturday, i had taken a nap in preparation for an all night arts festival - nuit blanche - in paris. i woke up just before 6 pm, when conference was starting back home in america. i pulled out my laptop, and because of my sketchy internet, was really only able to see president monson's announcement about the age change. this is what he said:

As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.

We affirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty—and we encourage all young men who are worthy and who are physically able and mentally capable to respond to the call to serve. Many young women also serve, but they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men. We assure the young sisters of the Church, however, that they make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome their service.

We continue to need many more senior couples. As your circumstances allow, as you are eligible for retirement, and as your health permits, I encourage you to make yourselves available for full-time missionary service.

however, my internet was sketchy. i heard the announcement like this:

As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.

We affirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty—and we encourage all young men who are worthy and who are physically able and mentally capable to respond to the call to serve. Many young women also serve, but they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men. We assure the young sisters of the Church, however, that they make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome their service.  

I encourage you to make yourselves available for full-time missionary service.

if that wasn't confirmation of my decision, i don't know what is. it was not a mistake that i saw conference that way. at all. and i'm so glad that my internet cut out.

now we fast-forward to the first week of winter semester at BYU. my mission call was sitting at my home in california. knowing that it was sitting two states away literally killed me. it was the longest week of my life. on friday, after a two hour delay because of mechanical issues, i flew home to open my call with my entire family. it was such an amazing experience.

i have never felt so nervous/excited/like-i-was-about-to-throw-up before in my life. but when i opened that big white envelope and held the letter in my hands that was sent to me personally from the first presidency, i felt at peace. it was right.

and then i read my letter out loud.

dear sister hughes,

you are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. you are hereby assigned to labor in the 

thailand bangkok mission.

i have never been so shocked in my life. after years of learning spanish and french, i was almost positive that i would end up in europe or south america. thailand?! it wasn't even on my radar. after the initial shock wore off (ok who are we kidding, it hasn't worn off, even now), i finished reading the rest of the letter.

i was surrounded by my family and friends. there was so much love and joy and excitement in my little living room that i almost couldn't handle it. and everything felt so right. i will admit that i was initially confused by my call as i read where i was going. but despite my confusion, it was right. and it was mine.

starting may 1st, 2013, i will be leaving everything behind to serve the lord and the people of thailand, laos, and myanmar for 18 wonderful months. and i couldn't be happier :)